Well the wait is over. I am sure that all of you, well maybe just one
person who actually read this my dear KEG, have been waiting for my decision of what it is that I am going to write. After deep consideration I have made my decision and that is I do not have one. When I first contemplated creating a blog I felt that I needed some kind of topic or subject that would not only give me something to write about but to keep me on track. But I realized that life is not always something that follows a track. Whether or not I realize it as it is happening, every moment plays a part in my life that eventually
will contribute to my future. So in actuality I did pick an option, rambling. However, I will try my best to make it interesting.
Well as I previously stated I am a freshman in college. Attending college was never a decision for me. The option not to go was never a thought in my mind. College was the next step in my life. And now
that I am here I am happy to say it was the right one. I absolutely love it. But at the same time it petrifies me in a way that I have never experienced before. It's funny that one could constantly think of their future without even noticing. Whether it be through a day dream or simple conversation our futures are constantly on our minds. Here at college it is as if this reoccurring thought is placed in front of your face like a blinking neon sign. As if worrying on my mind is not enough, I am in an institution where the whole purpose is to prepare for the future. But what happens when you do not know what your future is going to be? Everyone says as a Freshmen I have plenty of time. But within my first semester I already changed my major once and have considered about 10 others. You know the image of the young person standing on a ride with the fork in front of him. Each road offering a different road for life. Mine however feels as if I am surrounded by roads. I want to know my future without losing the element of surprise and anticipation, the good kind any way. O how I long for direction!
i totally know how you feel. not only have i struggled with what to do with my life (is teaching really my calling?) i have also struggled with not knowing what is coming the next day. it took a whole semester for christ to break me and make me realize that HE alone is the one directing my path. (you know prov. 3:5&6 ;) but it is important to remember that he commanded us "not to worry about tomorrow."
ReplyDeletewe are his children and he loves us. he will ultimately provide direction.
it is super duper easy to give advice, but so much harder to walk it. i know. i have been on the receiving end of this lately and often are annoyed with the mini-sermons that often accompany my discussions with others. BUT i do want you to know that i am walking throught this as well. you are not alone. get support and let christ make his perfect work in you. you are special, smart, and gifted and he will use you in an incredible way. i am sure. though, you may have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. outside our comfort zones if often when we "find" ourselves. hope my words help...just a little..
love, katie
p.s. you didnt tell me you were changing to an english major??? you the girl that couldnt write one essay for english class?? ;)